I'm writing
this post from a cosy corner of my terrace. It's 10:30 in the morning and I
wanted to enjoy being outdoors before it got too hot (you heard me right, I did
say TOO hot). It's been an absolutely gorgeous week in Brussels with non-stop sun
and downright hot afternoon temperatures. Andrew and I have spent most of our
evening meals lingering outside until sundown well after 10 pm.
I haven't
spent all my time basking in our tropical temperatures though. In fact, I've
been busier than ever. I spent Tuesday morning doing portraits of a very lovely
expat here in Belgium and I was very happy with the results. (Hopefully she was
too.) Last night, Andrew and I attended a small gallery opening of one of the
artists (a Canadian) who we met at the BAAF event a few weeks ago. The venue
was great and we're now on their event mailing list.
The vast
majority of my time however is being spent on the new improved CheeseWeb and I
have to say, I'm even more excited about it than I expected. The new design and
logo is finished and I'm thrilled with it. We've finally taken the plunge and
decided to switch to WordPress (thanks to Tammy for the encouragement!) and my
only regret is that we didn't do it sooner. Our last big challenge is bring in
some of our photos from the past 4 years.
What's
taking up most of my time though is my mission to go through all of my old
posts. My original thought was that I would delete many of the irrelevant ones.
However, that's been far from the case. In fact, I think I've actually posted
more articles than I've deleted, as I realised that I never published most of
my Expatica blogs on CheeseWeb.
It's been
an interesting experience reading through all of my old posts. It's been a real
trip down memory lane, starting with the very first CheeseWeb from our first 3
months in Amsterdam. There were a lot of great memories I had forgotten about -
exciting discoveries, weekend trips and adventures in a new culture. It's fun
to remember how excited we were about little things that we take for granted
now.
Then there
was the bad stuff - the frustrations of paperwork, endless, endless paperwork
and confusion about the new direction of our life. There was the turmoil of my
emotions while coming to grips with being a trailing spouse and struggling to
find a purpose for myself through my photography. It's been a wild ride these
past four years and I'm increasingly glad that I've kept track of most of it
here.
Having said
that, the new improved CheeseWeb will focus a bit more on bringing some of
these old posts back to the forefront. I hope those of you who have been with
me on this journey will go back and enjoy some of those old posts again as
well. For those of you who are newcomers to CheeseWeb, I hope some of my older
posts can be helpful to you too (even if it's nothing more than how NOT to be
an expat!)
I'm
optimistic that CheeseWeb will launch on its brand new domain in the next few
weeks. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!
As trailing spouses, most of us have experienced periods of sadness, frustration, and even anger while coming to terms with life in our new countries. Danish expat, Louise Fly Caione shared many of these challenges when she arrived in Belgium but now she's helping other expat wives overcome them.
Louise says she struggled with all of the typical expat emotions when she first arrived in Waterloo. She was sad, lonely, angry self-pitying and even jealous. "I was jealous of my husband who had a job and a social environment that I didn't," she says.
"I found I was jealous of my fellow Danes because in my eyes, they had a great and fun expat life," says Louise. However, she didn't want to network with other Danes at first, because she felt it would be the "easy" solution. "In the beginning, I was an idealist. I didn't want to go into the expat 'ghettos'. I didn't want to be a part of the Danish society; that wasn't why I had come to Belgium. I thought I wouldn't integrate if I did that, but the fact was I wasn't integrating anyway."
Louise found herself feeling ashamed of "not being happy with this so-called privileged life," she says. "I didn't know what to do or who to turn to. At a certain point, I was so tired of listening to my own long stories about not being happy that I looked for help in Denmark." Louise heard about a coach and decided to seek help. She was so inspired by the result that she decided to become a coach for other trailing spouses.
Through coaching, Louise learned methods and tools that she could use to cope with her new expat life. "I got my smile back," she says. "I became aware of all my self-destructive convictions and habits and realised that I had a choice. So I took responsibility for my own life and my own happiness. I started networking with other expats, and felt so relieved that I had energy and courage to connect with the locals as well."
Now firmly established in her expat life in Belgium, Louise offers help to other expat wives. Through personal one-on-one and group coaching sessions, Louise teaches others the coping mechanisms that she has learned over the years. "I thought that if I can help other expat wives not run into the same hurdles I did, that really makes sense to me," she says. "Expat life can be such a gift - it only took me a while to realise it."
You can visit Louise's website and sign up for her free newsletter full of tips and resources for expats in Belgium.
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I just stumbled upon another interesting and useful tool for expats thanks to Expatify (a great blog resource for expatriates). The tool is the Geert Hofstede™ Cultural Dimensions study. It looks at the cultural differences that influence international business in an attempt to facilitate cross-cultural communication. However, it can also be a useful guide for expats to compare cultural differences between their homeland and their adopted country. Read How The 5 Cultural Dimensions Can Help Expatriates on Expatify.
Interestingly for me, of course, was the difference between Canada and Belgium. The Geert Hofstede™ Cultural Dimensions tool allows you to look at each country separately, or to compare to countries in a simple to read graph format. Here are the results for Canada and Belgium.
Canada’s highest ranking is in Individualism. According to the study, this means:
“…success is measured by personal achievement. Canadians tend to be self-confident and open to discussions on general topics; however, they hold their personal privacy off limits to all but the closest friends.”
Canada also has a low Power Distance ranking, meaning:
“…a greater equality between societal levels, including government, organizations, and even within families. This orientation reinforces a cooperative interaction across power levels and creates a more stable cultural environment.”
Taking a look at Belgium, the first thing you notice is a very high Uncertainty Avoidance Index which,
“…indicates the society’s low level of tolerance for uncertainty. In an effort to minimize or reduce this level of uncertainty, strict rules, laws, policies, and regulations are adopted and implemented. The ultimate goal of this population is to control everything in order to eliminate or avoid the unexpected. As a result of this high Uncertainty Avoidance characteristic, the society does not readily accept change and is very risk adverse.”
Well, that certainly explains all of the levels of government in Belgium and why people just accept all of the red-tape hassles.
There is plenty of helpful information on the Cultural Dimensions website, and there are books available with an even more in-depth look at the data. This study’s information would be very helpful in planning an expat move. Being aware of different cultural traits that influence us can help expats understand how to interact with their host country that much more.
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